When the Alleluias Fade (for my beautiful daughter)

When the Alleluias fade, when the naked lilies stand unashamed without a bloom,

You are there.

When the dark empty tomb of despair calls "come back come back, find comfort here",

You, the Holy One, are there.

When the soft white linen cloth of self pity lures me to lie and rest in its cool cover,

You are there.

When the sound of the stone, once rolled away, rings in my ears as it looms behind me

threatening to trap me in that cold cave again,

You, Voice of Wisdom, are there.

When I need to cry the Friday cry, "Why, why my God have you forsaken me?"

You are there.

When time seems to travel backwards carrying the same old story,

the same worn out weary story of pain and suffering;

when progress is only temporary and relapse begins to feel like a long lost friend

You are there.

When the thorny crown of shame cuts deep into the mind

You are there.

When the wounds, barely healed, burst open by the burning pain of dashed hopes,

disappointment, doubt, lies, lies, and more lies

You are there.

When the disease of addiction, the evil one, the name that I dare not speak for fear of empowering it, rears its ugly head, teasing, taunting with the question "Who are you really?"

You are there.

When my tongue bleeds from biting back the words that would change nothing anyway,

when I stand in silence with my accusers, the ones who will never understand,

(How could they? They haven't seen what we've seen, been where we've been, walked our walk, nor tasted our tears)...still You are there.

When those once close feel far away, when they hide in fear, deny what they know to be true of me and true of You,

still You are there.

When I taste your Bread and know that my body is about to be broken again,

You are there with your nourishing words, "taste, eat, I am here for you."

When I drink the fruit of forgiveness, when the sweet wine of grace moistens my parched lips,

I give thanks that You are there.

I offer her the cup, filled not with the drink of temptation, but with the bittersweet sip of the promise. "Drink this cup, this cup of the covenant, the new promise of forgiveness.

It is, you are, the blood of my blood and flesh of my flesh."

Will she take it?

Whether she drinks of this cup or the other...You will be there.

You are there, no, no, You are HERE!

You are here.

You are here.

by Debbie Griffin, a mother who continues to hope for her daughter's wholeness.